The 5 Components Of Attraction – Part 1

The 5 Components Of Attraction - Part 1

People tend to think that attraction is merely limited to a primitive instinct of “Oh, I want to mate with this woman now”. Entirely not the case.

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Maybe it’s hundreds of years of societal influence but women as they are, don’t think of getting with a guy solely on the fact that they want to be fulfilled sexually. There’s a hell of a lot of stuff that goes along with it.

Hopefully, this will serve as an outline of what really makes up attraction and how you can use it to get in better with that girl that your barbaric instincts are telling you to get with.



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Attraction is something that doesn’t really take itself all that seriously. Attraction is not really the time or place to start discussing trends in trading on the stock exchange. It’s also not the time to start talking about depressing shit that may have happened in your life. You’ve seen this one played out in dating sequences in movies. You’ve got a girl sitting and talking to some guy that looks good enough, but on the other side she looks like she’s ready to cut her throat because he’s going on about soybean futures or some droll nonsense like that.

One way to properly utilize playfulness is to never give a woman a completely straight to the point answer. A big first date question from a woman is always “what do you do”. I had a friend that was absolutely amazing at utilizing playfulness. Oddly enough, he was a stock broker. On a few dates he went on he would start going into detail about exactly what he did at work and it bored the hell out of the woman.

So he started playing around with the question. He knew he really didn’t have that much to lose other than a dinner bill on a woman he was going to never speak to again if things went south. So he started telling the woman ridiculous stuff and then really telling her what he did. One time, I was witness to him telling her this three minute long story about how he had spent the majority of his early twenties working as a lion tamer in the circus. He would always end the story by saying he woke up one day and wanted to do something more dangerous; so he became a stock broker.

The girl’s face would always light up because she knew instantly that my friend wasn’t some stodgy bastard that took himself too seriously. You don’t want to take things too seriously in the beginning. If you’re the type of guy that doesn’t take things so seriously that you walk around with your asshole clinched that if you don’t end up going home with the girl that night; it’s no big deal to you. If you’re playful and take things in a playful manner, getting rejected is something you’re not going to lose sleep over.



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So, what is fun? Basically, it’s an emotional stimulation that produces a constant stream of good feelings. A lot of stock is put in value and not nearly enough in fun. Fun is a lot harder to explain.

My experience with this first came in about 2004 when I was visiting Los Angeles to see an old friend. This friend of mine was kind of the king woman getter in high school and nothing had changed in the ensuing couple of years since we had last seen each other. We were sitting outside a movie premiere just talking up a couple of girls. By my line of thinking he was doing every possible thing wrong.

He was making sexual comments right out of the gate that would make just about anyone blush. Hell, even flat out asked her if she was single. By the standards that I had been used to going by at the time, he was playing the game by all the wrong rules. However, the girl kept wanting to hang out and after the movie was over actually came up to us in the lobby of the theater with the intention of hanging out some more.

It was screwing with my head terribly. It was like I had just seen a flying car. It blew my mind because I was bearing witness to this guy making what I considered to be grave mistakes and despite it all, the girl still wanted to keep our (well, really his) company. I go back to my hotel and the two of them drifted off into the hot Los Angeles night.

The next day, he and I met up for lunch. I asked her what happened with the girl and he told me that the two of them had spent the night together and he had actually just gotten back from dropping her off at her apartment. I asked her how the hell him scoring with this chick was possible given all of the egregious rule breaking he had committed and he simply told me that she was having fun.

And this friend of mine wasn’t exactly a well to do guy. He in fact was living in a studio apartment at the time that more or less qualified as a midsized walk in closet. It was always my line of thinking up to that point that you had to have a high value price tag stamped on your forehead for a girl to have fun with you. He pointed out the fact that he had taken the girl back to his glorified jail cell that if somebody is having fun it really doesn’t matter what the hell they are doing.

Think of it this way. You take a kid to a toy store. They ask for some toy that comes in a giant box and costs a hell of a lot of money. You take it home, put it together for them. By the time you’re done and sweating your ass off you look over and notice that the kid is playing in the box; completely ignoring the thing they just begged you to buy. Why? Boxes cost nothing. They have no value. It’s because if a great deal of fun is involved, it doesn’t matter what the hell the value is.

As long as the girl is having fun, it doesn’t matter whether she’s with a millionaire or a McDonald’s employee. Fun is priceless.


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