5 More Reasons Ugly Chicks RULE (So Please Feed The Bushpigs) – Part 1

5-Ways-Ugly-Girls-Help-You-Get-Laid-(So-Please-Feed-The-Bushpigs)---Part-1“Ewwww, I don’t want to talk to an ugly girl! She’s so ugly, what if somehow I catch the ugly?!”

Well, theoretical person, you need to shut the hell up. Not only are you being rude, but also there are many benefits to ugly girls and they can greatly help you get laid.  Here are the top three ways ugly chicks can help you.

uglyUgly Betty: “I’ll help you get laid!” (Actually, she’s not that bad; I’d bang Ugly Betty.)

1. Practice

Selfshot-Huge-Knockers1I like to practice basketball with your boobs

How do you get to Carnegie Hall?


That’s a joke. I’m not sure if it’s funny, but if you think about it for a minute maybe it’ll make you smile. (Or maybe it won’t—I don’t care either way.)

Anyway, it’s time to talk about practice. Practice is necessary to improve at just about anything. Do you think Michael Jordan was born a great basketball player? Sure, he might’ve been naturally inclined to be a million times better than you, but he still had to put in a ton of work. Remember the movie Space Jam? At the beginning of the movie (based on a true story), we see a young Michael taking shot after shot. He tells his father that he’s going to become the best basketball player ever. And he does. And it’s because he practiced.  He didn’t say the hell with it after the first free throw he missed.  He kept going until he perfected his game.

If you practiced more, you could do thisIf you practiced more, you could do this.

The same thing applies to picking up girls and getting laid. You want to become a ladies man? Well, Casanova, you’re going to have to practice. If there was a magic potion I could give you to make girls fall for you, I would hand it over (out of pity), but unfortunately, you’re going to have to do some actual work.

This is where the “ugly” girls come in. Now, I do believe that every woman is beautiful in her own special way, just that some women are less beautiful on the outside and look like cave trolls. These are the girls that I’m talking about. These girls are your practice.  Think of them as being like the lowest difficulty setting on a video game.  Sure, they generally offer the same aesthetic experience that their much hotter counterparts may offer.  While they do that, what they don’t do is give you the extra obstacles that a higher difficulty woman would offer.

The really hot chick that you really want to be cooking breakfast for in the morning may have upwards of every guy in the goddamn building vying for her attention.  That ugly chick in the corner…yeah, the one with the thing on her face; might have nobody going for her.  She’s updating a Facebook status that nobody will comment on.  But she’s like running an obstacle course that doesn’t really have any obstacles.  Sometimes all you have to do is say hello and it seals the deal.

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Ugly girls will be far less quick to judge or dismiss you because of their unfortunate appearance. Also, you don’t have to worry about being rejected because, hell, even if you are rejected, you didn’t want to sleep with Ursula the Sea Witch anyway. By practicing routines and gaining confidence talking to ugly girls, you’ll be better prepared when you actually try to talk to attractive girls.

Ass-Hot-Brunette-Sexy-Coed1Practice cooking

2. The Hot Friend

Ass-Perfect-Hot-Panties1Hot friends… I like

Back when I was a freshman in college, I was awful with girls and pretty much willing to talk to/try to pick up anyone. It wouldn’t have mattered if she had a peg leg and a snaggle tooth; I was trying to tap that.  It didn’t matter how bad the exterior was.  Hell, I even had a scale of how many bottles of beer it would take me to get in bed with a particular woman and not question my normal judgment.  There were some that took a case and some that took none and one that damn near took a whole pony keg.

So one night, I’m at the bar and there’s this girl. She’s not awful actually. Maybe a 3.5/10. Perfect, I’ll take a stab at that (practice!). So I talk to her for a little while and then all of a sudden she tells me she’s married. And I’m thinking, “Great! There goes 15 minutes of my life I can never have back.” But, just as I’m about to make up an excuse and walk away, she tells me that she’s there with people from some class she’s taking and she thinks she has a friend I might like. Bingo!

This is me when I find out an ugly girl has a hot friendThis is me when I find out an ugly girl has a hot friend

She introduces me to this girl from Germany. A model—I kid you not. 10/10. Hands down, to this day she’s still probably the hottest girl I’ve ever slept with. I remember going to the deli to pick up a six-pack of beer with her before we went back to my place. When she wasn’t looking, the old guy behind the counter looked at her, then at me, and nodded approvingly and gave me a big thumbs up.Sexy-Coed-Girl-Selfshot1This isn’t her, but she was this level hotness

It was an awesome night. That’s why you talk to ugly girls—the hot friend.  Even if you don’t end up going home with them you’ll have the endorsement from them that gets you admission into a much nicer amusement park.

Guys are like children in that way when it comes to women sometimes.  We look at them as nothing more than amusement park rides.  Nothing wrong with it.  It’s just how we’re built by nature.  And think of it this way, which would you rather ride…the ride at the county fair that’s covered in rust and looks like it could fall apart at any moment, or the new roller coaster than can take you to heights you’ve never dreamed of?

Click Here For Part 2 Of The Article ->

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