How To Get Out Of The Friends Zone

I think we have all been in this position one time or another. This is where you think to yourself “all I need to do is be friendly with her and then once she gets to know me, I’ll end up dating her.”

Then you start approaching the woman and acting out in such a way that does not present yourself in any way shape of form as being able to be a potential sexual suitor.

You end up doing things that you think are intimate and increase an emotional bond and connection. Which is true to an extent. You’re making her feel more close to you, in ways that only a friend can provide. For example, you’re always there to listen to her talk about her fights with her boyfriend or you’re her shoulder to cry on when things are not going so well.

You think to yourself “great, I’m the one that she turns to when she’s in need, so I must be special to her” and you keep on being there for her when she’s feel bad.

Then the moment you have been waiting for arrives.

She finally breaks up with her boyfriend!

Now more than ever she turns to you for help.

Now more than ever you get to talk to her exclusively on the phone!

Now more than ever she’s crying to you talking about how sad she is and how miserable things are!

Now more than ever you spend more and more time with her!

“This is great” you think to yourself, “I’m so going to be her next boyfriend…”

So this goes on for the first few days after the breakup.

You talk to her all the time.

Then gradually, slowly but surely as time passes you hear from her less and less.

You think to yourself “maybe she’s just a bit busy now”.

Then suddenly she stops calling you to tell you how things are…

So you think to yourself, “hmmm.. I wonder what happened, I’ll give her a call”.

Then she picks up telling you how excited she is, because now she’s found a new guy that was so much better than her ex boyfriend.

Immediately your heart sinks.

You feel betrayed…

You feel totally hopeless…

But she’s still on the line so you pretend to congratulate her in a cheerful tone, but as soon as you hang up the feeling of being gutted overwhelms you…

You thought things were going oh so well…

She must have liked you to be calling you everyday to tell you about her problems right?

What on earth went wrong then?

Weren’t you  dating already?

You ask yourself over and over again “what the hell went wrong…”

Well my answer to you is simple.

You were placed in the FRIENDS ZONE!

Without knowing it you solidified your existence to her as just being a friend and not a sexual mate.

The friends zone is the place you end up with a woman if you do not immediately let her know that you can be a potential sexual partner.

This is because you spent way too much time making her feel comfortable around you. Yes, she  does feel comfortable around you. Way too comfortable in fact. So much so that she doesn’t even see you as a man anymore and treats you like one of her girlfriends.

To her, the thought of you two being together just doesn’t make sense. From the very start of when you first met, you have never placed the seeds of attraction in the interaction and just let things resonate on friendly terms.

But don’t despair, there is a way to get out of the friends zone, and I’ll teach you how.

Just make sure you don’t end up here again next time.

Steps to get out of the friends zone

After you put yourself in the friends zone the first thing you need to do is break away from the precedent that you set.

When she called you, you were always there.

When she needed you, you always appeared.

When she wanted supported, you had your shoulder ready to let her cry on.

Now you need to know things are different.

You need to come across as a new man, that IS a potential sexual partner, who is also “a friendly guy”, but you’re not JUST a friendly guy. You need to let her know this distinction!

1. Limit your availability

By starting to become less and less available, what you essentially do is to start to break away from the previous precedent of the boring old you.

Now you begin to make her wonder why you’re just so busy all the time. Maybe it’s because you have a new woman in your life, maybe you have multiple women, who knows. Whatever the case may be, she doesn’t know what’s going on and she’s going to be a little intrigued.

By constantly being available all the time you were actually making yourself more and more unattractive. You were letting her know that you have nothing fun and worthwhile going on in your life – no other women, BUT HER!

She knows this and that’s why she turned to you!

But when you start to pick up her calls less and aren’t there to do her every bidding, she’ll start wondering what’s up.

2. Start doing what you did not do before, FLIRT

After a few weeks, your female friend will start wondering what’s up with you. Then she’ll start to message and contact you by phone.

Make sure this time you take the opportunity to demonstrate how much of an attractive and sexually aware man you are.

Be sure to include sexual innuendo in your conversation when you talk to her. Make sure you include statements that can be taken in both sexual and non sexual ways. Remember, make your statements have a double meaning. Here’s an example:

Her: hey, I haven’t seen or spoken to you in ages! Where have you been?

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You: oh hey! I’ve been really busy these days, I’ve been doing some interesting things that I don’t know if I should tell you… haha

Please note that when you start to flirt with someone you have never ever flirted with before, it will be awkward.

I can almost guarantee you at the start, this is going to be very weird for both of you.

It’s going to be weird for you, because you have never ever said these things to her before.

It’s going to be weird from her, because she’s never thought of you as a sexual partner.

So most of the time she’s going to start asking you why are you talking like the way you have.

She’s going to ask you why you’ve changed.

But this is the time where you turn the tables on her and tell her that SHE’s CHANGED.

Tell her that you were always like this, but she never picked it up. Whatever, she says, turn the tables on her and say that she’s the one that changed.

Make sure you come across in a positive way, so that she knows you’re not angry. Then continue to flirt with her.

Now depending on the type of girl she is, she’ll either get angry or frustrated at you then leave. Or if she did ever potentially consider you as a sexual partner, she’ll start reciprocating. BUT, this is the most awkward phase and you HAVE to be able to push through.

If she gets mad and leaves, DO NOT suck up to her immediately.

This is part of your strategy to “break the precedent” you have set.

Then the next time you see or meet her, act as if nothing has happened, but continue to flirt with her.

3. Do NOT confess how much you like her

I know that you see many Hollywood films where the guy confesses his love for the woman of his dreams and they end up dating and getting married.

If only things were that simple in real life you wouldn’t be reading this seduction guide!

By actually telling her that you effectively tell her this:

  1. You’re not a challenge
  2. She doesn’t need to do anything to get you
  3. She has you already

This makes you look EXTREMELY unappealing.

Do not CONFESS your feelings.

DO NOT SAY SOMETHING LIKE THIS (this actually happened to a guy I personally know):

You: Oh, did you know that I have liked you for so long, but I just never had the chance to tell you because I was so shy.

If you confess your love to her, you’re making her much more important than you in terms of status and value. You also give her the power to say YES OR NO. That is the power of REJECTION and you would have effectively given it to her on a platter.

No!

Do not do that!

Instead what you should incorporate some flirting as I told you to before, THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD SAY:

You: Hey, let’s go out and get some dinner, then hang out, and if you’re lucky I’ll show you what I’ve been busy with, but you have to promise to be good.

Her: oh ok, what are you busy with?

You: Oh sorry, I can’t tell you unless you promise to be good, do you promise to be good?

Her: haha ok, yes I’ll be good.

You: oh sweet, then make sure you give me a back massage as soon as we meet. Just don’t get any ideas. If the massage is good, then I’ll tell you, if it’s bad, then I’m going to punish you.

Then when you do meet, actually ask her for a back massage, it doesn’t have to be a good one but just make sure she starts to do what you ask her to do.

What you want to do is set up the idea that you just want a back massage, but she’s the one that’s trying to seduce you.

If you start talking like that, the conversation will not only be playful and fun, it will be SEXUAL and that will propel you out of the friends zone!

The friends zone is one of those places that are easy to get in but hard to get out of. So the best cure is to simply prevent going there in the first place and establish in her mind that you are a potential sexual partner from the get go. It’s important to create comfort and build a connection between the two of you, but do not make the mistake of ONLY building comfort without making her realize that you could be her lover.

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