5 Tips For Shy Guys Trying To Get With Chicks

A great many come here to read a lot of different advice about a love of different things when it comes to dealing with and getting with women. There’s one segment of the male population that unfortunately gets overlooked. We all have that one friend that despite there not being anything wrong with him in any other regard, he’s just one shy son of a bitch. That’s ok, we’re here to help. Even the shyest of guys out there can at least get their foot in the door with a woman. Here are some tips to help you shy fellas get past that mental block.

Read The Girl’s Signals


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I’m not going to say that it could never actually happen to somebody, but the chances of a woman actually coming up to you unsolicited and giving you any of her contact info is about as likely as finding a leprechaun riding a unicorn across three rainbows to its pot of gold. It is just not how things work.

However, if you know what you are supposed to be looking for, even the shyest of guys out there will be able to pick up on the signals that a woman is giving out that are essentially telling you to get your ass over there and talk to her.

The first thing that you need to realize above all else is that women don’t do anything by accident. Even the ditziest of them are calculating to a degree. If a woman is in a certain spot in a club or something like that it certainly wasn’t by random chance. It was a calculated move.

I’ve seen this happen a number of times when I’d be out picking up women with friends. We’d be sitting at a table and a girl would sit down at one of the table’s empty chairs. Every single time she sat in the chair that was closest to whatever guy it was next to, that guy would end up going home with her. Without fail. If all of a sudden you are standing somewhere and you happen to notice that a woman is suddenly next to you appearing to mind her own business, she isn’t. She is there because she saw something in you from across the room and wants you to make the first move.

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Another thing to look for is if you see a girl and the two of you make glancing eye contact. If following that eye contact she starts doing those quickie fixes on her hair or makeup then keeps looking back at you, that’s her way of saying to you that you should probably get your ass over there.

Warm Yourself Up


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There are very few people when they wake up in the morning that can pop out of bed like a shotgun blast and be ready to run a marathon. I consider myself to be a pretty put together guy, but even I need that ten minutes after the alarm goes off to really get my shit together. Talking to women follows the same principle.

Even the most naturally athletic people have to get that little stretch in before the game otherwise they aren’t going to perform at their best. Hell, even your car isn’t going to blow hot air at you on a cold winter morning unless you’ve let it sit idle for a few minutes. You’ve got to let that thing warm up, and you’ve got to let yourself warm up the same way when talking to women.

Now, you can’t be silent like a statue the whole night and suddenly expect you to bust out your A game the second you go up to a girl. You’ll be stumbling over your words. You’ve got to start off by talking to the people around you.

Even if you don’t talk to a woman the first hour or so that you are in a club, don’t worry. If you spend that time just knocking around random subjects with your friends you are going to put yourself in a happy mood. That sudden flood of endorphins to your body is going to make you feel like you could take on a grizzly bear with a sharp stick.

Hell, even if you happen to be stuck by yourself somewhere do not worry. There’s plenty of staff in a bar or whatever that half of their job is talking to your ass. Nothing is better for a warm up to a guy flying solo then stopping a bartender or waitress as they bring you your drink and asking them to settle some fictional argument you and a friend were having earlier in the day. You get that conversation going for how short it might be and you’ll get your verbal juices flowing so you give yourself the belief that the brief chat with the waitress went well; that must mean that me talking to that girl across the bar will go good as well.

Change The Outcome You Are Looking For


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Too many guys, even the most confident among us, sometimes make the mistake of approaching a woman with the wrong intentions in mind. We either go into battle thinking that the day has not been won unless we’ve gotten a phone number, an agreement for a date or making her our next girlfriend to begin with.

Guys will look at a chick, see how hot she is and end up overthinking what their ultimate goal is and end up psyching themselves out. They become far too dependent on the best potential outcome. The worst thing about all of this is that they end up looking like some needy bastard by the girl and end up getting ruled out as date material by the girl before the conversation is even over.
When you are still building your skills and breaking yourself out of the horrific shell of shyness you are caught under, you should only have one goal. It’s not to get her number, it’s not to get her to agree to go to the movies with you. It’s not even to get laid. It should be to get better at talking to women.

If you take each woman that you speak to as a potential stepping stone in building your skills as far as it pertains to talking to women in general, you can make incremental steps to where when you are going in for your kill shot you won’t appear needy.

Case in point, when I was in my early twenties I was relatively shy. One night, some friends and I went to this local bar. Nothing really spectacular about this place, just a hangout for some locals and college kids that didn’t feel like paying a twenty dollar cover to get into a club. Anyway, I’m sitting at the bar watching a cable broadcast of Reservoir Dogs. This girl walks up next to me and orders a drink. She was going to go back to her table as soon as she got the drink so I had about a five minute window to talk to her. No chance to get a number or anything like that.

Did I sit there silently like a buffoon? Nope! Without even looked at her I said something about feeling sorry for the poor guy that had to edit all of the F-bombs out of this so they could get it on TV. That started about a four minute conversation about movies and at no time did I ask for her number. We exchanged names and that was about it.

Fast forward to later in the evening, her friends were apparently becoming a bore to her. She sat down next to me and started the movie conversation where it had left off when she went back to her table. After about another half hour of conversation about anything and everything, she gets the sign from her friends it’s time to leave. That’s when she gave me her cell number. If you set your expectations low, you will be happy with just about any result.

Change How You Look At Rejection


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Most guys will almost subconsciously make a woman’s response to them about anything mean something to them personally. If a woman completely shuts a guy down or says something bitchy to them, a great deal of the time they end up making it mean something about them as a man.

When a woman rejects a guy or tells them to piss off, it has nothing to do with the guy. It wasn’t the guy she was rejecting, it was the guy’s approach. Assuming that you are a nice guy, if you got shot down by a woman chances are your approach was so off you didn’t even come close to the runway.

It’s nothing personal either. If it’s a woman you’ve never met and are speaking to for the first time when she shoots you down, there is no possible way that it could be personal. This chick doesn’t know your ass from a hole in the ground. Everything that happens, good and bad is supposed to be part of a system to make you better. You have to look at talking to women as somewhat of a performance. You don’t get any better if you don’t lose once in a while.

Play Your Own Game


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For a shy man, a club or bar scene can be a damned intimidating place to go about picking up women. Especially due to the fact that when women go out to these places they end up traveling with a group of a few other friends that sometimes act as gatekeepers to keep who they consider to be undesirables the hell away from their friend.

Especially if you are by yourself, your ass is playing with the deck stacked against you. To be successful, you have to change the questions when the women think they think they have all the answers. This is where your Facebook page comes in. Let’s face it, getting rejected by a girl face to face is pretty god damned embarrassing. You feel like you want to crawl into a hole and never come out.

Utilizing your social media works great for several reasons but I’m going to focus on one big one. You can mitigate the level of rejection you feel if you get shot down. As much time as people spend time on their Facebook pages on a given day, it’s still not real life. Treat it like that. Facebook is like a flight simulator for dating. If you screw up somehow or get shot down on Facebook, it’s no different than a guy in a flight simulator accidentally crashing the plane. You can always try again.

Going this route, you can slowly build up your confidence and your conversational skills to the point where you may not need that much of a warm up once you step out of the simulator and into the real thing.



It may take some of the shyer among us longer to get with a woman that they truly want to hook up with, but it will happen. Just follow some of these steps and you will build the confidence that you need.

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