5 Ways To Pass A Woman’s Tests – Part 1

5 Ways To Pass A Woman's - Part 1
A shit test at its absolutely simplest is the woman’s way of weeding out whether you are a guy that she wants to spend time with or if you’re an asshole. Shit tests come in all forms and varieties. They will range from the odd stare after asking you a question to her halfheartedly laughing at a joke that’s ok for her to chuckle at but a death sentence if you do. So, seeing as how shit tests are about as hard to crack as the CIA’s encryption methods I feel obliged to help. Here’s five ways of passing through these awful, hateful tests.

Perform The Same Test On Her


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Usually a woman’s shit test will consist of a couple of questions. They unfairly administer these things to guys completely unannounced and usually in the opening stages of dating or a relationship. The first type of test is when the two of you are walking through the mall and she sees another woman in a dress that she might want as well.

She will no doubt ask you how you think that dress looks on the woman the two of you had seen wearing it. Unwittingly, you’re probably going to say that it looks great on her. After all, relationships are supposed to be based on honesty right? Complete bullshit in some cases, these shit tests prove that.

The result of the example I gave will almost always be her getting in a huff about your honesty and acting like you are saying that she isn’t fit enough to wear that woman’s rags. A shit test is often a woman trying to get you to agree to a comparison that she wouldn’t be in favor of.
So, you need to turn the tables on her. If it seems like she is the type that’s going to be perpetually giving you little tests to the point where you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around her; let her ass know what it feels like.

Time for a good real life example. I was watching some talk show one night with this girl I had been dating for a couple of months and I could tell that the tests were in full effect. Jesus, even the act of what hand I held my fork in at dinner felt like a test. So I knew I eventually had to give her a taste of her own medicine to get her ass to stop.
Anyway, we were watching the talk show and this extremely attractive singer comes on. She’s sitting there talking to the host, when my girlfriend looks at me and asks if I think she’s hot. Now, I know I’m being set up for a night of her in flannel pajamas with my ass taking a cab ride home. I paused for a moment, looked at her dead in the eye and said, “Why, you looking for my permission to have sex with her if the opportunity came along?”

Bam! I had her hook, line and sinker. She didn’t know what the hell to do. She was stammering. She was so prepared to say what she was going to say when I said whatever she thought I was going to say. Instead she was grasping for straws trying to answer my own test. For the record, she did say yes to my query after she finally composed herself.



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Sometimes the best way to pass one of these tests from women is to not answer at all. See, the whole idea is to get us guys to answer in the hopes that we are going to say the wrong thing and validate their suspicions about our true feelings.

Whenever I feel a shit test coming on, I always act as if I have what I like to call situational deafness. In reality, I am just ignoring what she’s saying. This usually works best if you’re watching a movie or something with a woman. At some point she’s going to ask you if you think the woman in the movie is pretty. It’ll always be at past the halfway point so that you get lulled into a false sense of security. Guys tend to think that the shit test is going to come early. It’s going to come when you lease suspect it, this is how you know when exactly to predict its arrival.

Just act like you didn’t hear her. When she asks, sit there looking dumb as a post. When she looks at you like she’s been waiting an eternity for you to answer, just say to her that you didn’t catch what she was saying because you were trying to remember the name of some minor character at the beginning of the movie.
Look, most of these damn tests have something to do with whether you’d want to be with some other chick if given the chance. The best way around that pile of burning coals is by having to go through a slightly smaller pile of burning coals. She may be pissed off that you weren’t listening to what she was saying to you. That’s a hell of a lot better in my book than her being mad because you just admitted you’d have sex with the female lead of the movie if given the chance.


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